There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior, a nameless terrible thing soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

Yes, OK, OK, OK, OK. Dalek fleet. Miminum twelve thousand battleships armed to the teeth. Aaaah! But we’ve got surprise on our side. They’ll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand Dalek battleships. ‘Cos we’d be killed instantly, so it would be a fairly short surprise. Forget surprise.

Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica takes the universe! But, bad news everyone, ‘cause guess who? Ha! Except you lot, you’re all whizzing about, which really is very distracting… Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Now, the question of the hour is, “Who’s got the Pandorica?” Answer: I do. Next question. “Who’s coming to take it from me?” [The Doctor gestures to the surrounding spaceships.] Come on, look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn… Oh, and something else: I don’t have anything to lose. So, if you’re sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you’ve got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight. Just remember who’s standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you. And then, AND THEN do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first. Trust me. I’m the Doctor.